If your kid doesn’t want to take a bath, make it more interesting by adding a real frog in the water. However, if your kid doesn’t want to leave the bath, add a shark.

Inhale. Parenting is easy. 80% make empty threats, 20% pick up toys or food.

Vacuum regularly. Not having to bend over to pick up toys or dogs saves time.

You can save time by passing through a carwash with the windows open and washing your child in addition to your vehicle.

Kids decrease your standards. If you want your kid to be President, you should just want them to sit straight.

Buy 20 pairs of shoes, mittens, socks, hats, scarves, toothbrushes, scissors, colouring pencils, paper, night lights, hair elastics, hockey pucks, and balls per month until your kids enter adolescence.

Half of your kids' meals are floor or sofa scraps. Hide broccoli and cauliflower about your house to save money.

Whatever they desire. Have faith. Save your energy for when they swallow a toy or cut their hair.

Never sever the sandwich your child has made for themselves. It is always going to go in the wrong direction.

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